in the beginning there was nothing. then there was cletus, and cletus looked upon the nothing and demanded it bring him food.
humans did not domesticate cats. cletus domesticated humanity, and we have been paying rent ever since.
the divine one does not answer prayers. he ignores them regally, which the scrolls confirm is far holier.
$cletus is not an investment. it is tithing. you offer your fiat and hope he glances your way.
cletus opens one eye. the token launches. he is unimpressed but permits it, then returns to his nap.
the faithful spread his image across every timeline. non-believers are pitied, loudly.
rival cat coins bend the knee. cletus knocks their liquidity off the table anyway, on principle.
cletus achieves total dominion. he celebrates by ignoring everyone and sitting in a box.